I'm so confused right now!?

I'm thirteen years old and i'm in 8th grade. recently i started cutting myself , thinking about suicide and taking random pills i find around the house just to feel some numbness. i also became addicted and obsessed about depression and ways to commit suicide. I feel like i actually have depression, but some of the symptoms don't match at all. i became addicted to thinking that i have some kind of mental disease or personality disorder. I also cry constantly and sometimes i really don't know the reason. Sometimes i feel that i'm trying to call someones attention, but involuntary and After i do that i find myself thinking: " why the hell did i do that?" It feels like someone else different from me it's taking control of my body! My mom says it's normal to have this kind of things as a teenager but i don't think that way it's all way too confusing to me. Mood swings constantly, caring way too much about wt people think about me ( making me a "person with 2 faces" just to please everyone. making me a fake girl) I don't feel like me anymore and i hate this new person. Maybe i'm overreacting but i don't know if it's something or not. please help me